What if.....?

This 'what if?' has become the biggest question of my life. All thanks to you, bhaiya. What if I had tried harder? What if I had insisted more? What if I had gone on a hunger strike till you gave up alcohol and cigarettes? What if I had insisted that you seek medical help? Would I have been able to save you? 

Well, it's not fair. It's not fair to me, to any of your friends, to your family, to di. It's not fair. Kuch ulta seedha karna hi tha to kuch aisa kiya hota jisse humko taqleef na hoti! Kuch nahi socha na aapne? Kisi ke baare mien nahi? And now? Ab sochte hain kya bhaiya? Ab sochte hain kya, ki aapne shayad meri b'day hamesha ke liye barbaad kar di hai? ki I can never approach this part of the year without crying for you? That this time of the year does not bring happy memories to me anymore? It brings memories of you, it brings back all those regrets, all that pain, all the misery that I have been fighting to forget. And to think that I used to be the girl who took pride in never having any regrets in life. 

I miss you bhaiya. 

:(

हर जगह आपकी यादें हैं भइया। आपको क्या लगा था, चले जायेंगे तो हम भूल जायेंगे आपको? आप समझते क्यों नही भइया.... आपको भूलना इतना आसान नही है......आप क्यों चले गए भइया ?

Please respond....this is urgent!

I was just wondering, would it help to reduce alcohol-addiction if senior students in my college got together and counseled their juniors about the negative effects of alcohol and nicotine? I understand that they can't totally get rid of it. Perhaps they wouldn't even want to. In my college, at least a little bit of social drinking is considered important training for future life. Besides, alcohol plays a very important role in college politics, so there would be heavy opposition to any suggestion to reduce its consumption. However, I do hope to achieve at least this much:

1. There would be no forcing of liquor on juniors/friends (by maroing sento or otherwise)
2. Before the first daru-party, the negative effects of alcohol would be explained to all juniors. After them it would be up to them to decide whether they still want to drink or not. In either case, the importance of drinking responsibly would be explained to them.
3. The seniors would ensure that any junior who shows signs of addiction gets proper medical help.
   

I don't know how achievable these goals are, so I request whoever reads this to give their feedback. If there are any seniors who can help me with this please do leave your contact details.

Before I end, I think I should also state the reason why I think this might work. See, your juniors look up to you. If the Director or the Dean make such an attempt, they will get laughed at, but your juniors will listen to you. Even if they ignore all warnings, your advice will always remain at the back of their minds. And, well, it might just save their life someday. So, please give this a thought. And do give your feedback.

Alcohol destroys families...don't let it destroy yours

Pam

Cute Anti-smoking Ad.....what part of it do You not understand?!

Free website design guide.

Another Rakhi without you Bhaiya. Well.......watever

Even One matters!!

There was this article in the Scientific American, May 2008 issue, about how the brain can get addicted to nicotine(the substance smoked in cigarettes,etc. ) with just one cigarette. The author Joseph R. DiFranza, talks about how some of his teenage patients developed nicotine-addiction with just two months of smoking @ only a few cigarettes a week. The kids were unable to quit smoking despite making serious effort(Sounds like some of my friends in college. You listening, people?). He also discusses a new theory to explain how withdrawal symptoms can develop in novice smokers. He also lists a set of questions, which he calls the 'Hooked on Nicotine Checklist' or HONC, that he uses to detect addiction. I summarize both the theory and the HONC here.

The Theory
Dr. DiFranza suggests that in non-smokers, the brain's systems for generating and inhibiting cravings are in balance. The craving-generation system triggers a craving, like for food when a person ought to eat, and the craving-inhibition system stops it when the person is satiated. Now, nicotine stimulates the craving-inhibition system and increases its activity. So the brain tries to balance the system by correspondingly increasing the activity of the craving-generation system. When the effects of nicotine wear off, the craving-inhibition system returns to its normal state, but the craving-generation system is still in overdrive and produces an intense desire for more nicotine.

A single cigarette can suppress withdrawal symptoms (result of the craving-generation mechanism) for weeks, even though the nicotine is no longer present in the body. So the novice smoker can stay symptom-free for a long time. With repeated use, however, tolerance develops and one needs to smoke more frequently. You might think," Hey! One would do no harm. I am in full control of myself.", but it is ensnaring your brain, slowly but surely.

The Hooked on Nicotine Checklist
This is the checklist. An answer of 'yes' to anyone of the questions indicates that addiction has begun. I dare you to take the test, specially questions 4 and 5. Most of the people who smoke usually tell me that they need to smoke because they are feeling 'low' or because they need to stay awake at night. Go ahead, here's the HONC:

1. Have you ever tried to quit smoking, but couldn't?
2. Do you smoke now because it is really hard to quit?
   
3. Have you ever felt like you were addicted to tobacco?
4. Do you ever have strong cravings to smoke?
5. Have you ever felt like you really needed a cigarette?
6. Is it hard to keep from smoking in places you are not supposed to, like school?

When you tried to stop smoking(or, when you haven't used tobacco for a while):
7. Did you find it hard to concentrate because you couldn't smoke?
8. Did you feel more irritable because you couldn't smoke?
9. Did you feel a strong need or urge to smoke?
10. Did you feel nervous, restless or anxious because you couldn't smoke?

Yeah....it was too bright for me too, specially in this weather. So it's cool blue for now. :)

New Post

Long time, no see, hence this post. Been very busy past few days, expect to be even busier now. But will try to write whenever I can. Asked a friend to write to the blog. The new look is her first contribution. Can't say I hate it, but I prefer the dark. More on that later. The new author calls herself Wild Child, prefers to be anonymous but doesn't mind if someone does know who she is, loves dogs and chocolates. I guess that's it.

Enjoy life. You don't need alcohol to have fun.

My Story

People ask me why I am so negative. They ask me why I am so obsessed with this issue, why I can't take a rest, a break, let myself heal. I won't deny that I am obsessed. I am. I want to make people listen, even if they would cover their ears. I want to make them see, to feel. I want to make them act. Once I wanted to totally wipe out alcohol from my campus, and everywhere else. But now that won't satisfy me. Now I want to wipe out alcohol from everyone's lives. Because even if I manage to somehow get all the liquor shops around here shut down, which in itself would be a herculean task(but not an impossible one), that would still not stop people from wanting to drink, from procuring alcohol from other shops a bit farther off. No. That is not my aim. My aim is to get the people to understand the effects of alcohol consumption. My aim is to get them to give up the bottle themselves. I want to destroy Alcohol. I won't deny it. I am partly driven by revenge. I won't deny that either. I am not half-way sure if I will ever succeed. But if I can convince even one person to give up alcohol, I would consider it worth all the effort. Hell, I would consider it my life's purpose reached.

I have a fire inside me. It scorches me, tortures me, makes me scream out in pain. I have felt it often enough to know what it wants. It's purpose is to burn. My purpose is to burn; to give warmth and light. And if I don't fight to fulfill my purpose, I'll go out. That is why, I can't quit. I have to burn. I can't let my wounds heal. I have to keep the blood flowing. It is the fuel to my fire. You may call me negative. But I am only fulfilling my destiny.

My destiny is to burn.

On Death

Life is so difficult. Choices, responsibilities, duties, all waiting to trap us as soon as we step out into the real world. But death? Death is oh, so simple! A simple overdose of sleeping pills, or a slit on the wrist, or an accident, or an illness, or just being at the wrong place at the wrong time, can free you forever of the burden of life. So simple, so clean. Just one sharp, piercing pain, and then it's all over. Right?

Yes. But only for you. Believe it or not, there will always be people you leave behind to cry. There will always be someone who will regret all the rest of his/her life, their last fight with you. There will always be someone who will wish that they had made up with you before you left. There will always be someone who will feel responsible for your death, even if they were not, and even if they half-knew that they were not. There will always be someone who will feel that they were not there for you. And, this is specially for those who intend to die of substance abuse, there will always be someone who will keep on wondering what would have happened if they had managed to stop you in time, from downing another bottle of whiskey, from finishing another pack of cigarettes, from taking that last fatal ride. You will find the oblivion that you seek, or the fame, but there will be those who will never be able to forgive themselves, never be able to forget you.

But what does it matter to you? Right now, you are frustrated. Right now, life seems all uphill. Right now, you feel like nobody cares for you. Right now, you want to do something drastic. Right now, you want to drown your sorrows in a bottle of vodka. Go ahead, do whatever you want. But take care. They say that there is something called afterlife where, who knows, you might have to watch all those who loved you, tear themselves up with the pain and sorrow that you gave them.

Life is tough. Get tougher. It's a battle. Get a hold of yourself and FIGHT, soldier. And remember, there's always someone, somewhere who cares for you, waits for you, prays for you. So keep faith and keep fighting.

Free website design guide.

Y'know, these past few days I have been feeling this really strong urge to smoke. I don't know why. I guess it's because I've been a bit frustrated lately. The reasons are too personal to be discussed here, so we won't. Suffice it to say that my cocoon of safety seems to be falling apart. Now, I know I shouldn't succumb to the urge, at least not without giving a good fight. So I talk to a couple of friends about it. I tell them that I want to smoke. Just like that. No reason. Obviously, they tell me not to. In the discussion that follows, I am told that if a guy smokes, it doesn't look so bad, but if a girl smokes, people generally don't take it in a very good sense. Now, here's too strong a promise of controversy for me to resist, so I jump in. After a healthy(!) debate, we drift to other topics. But I somehow keep on thinking. Why is it that guys who themselves smoke and/or drink can't digest it if a girl of their acquaintance does the same? You may smoke all you like but if your younger sister does, you'll create havoc at home. Now, I am not saying that girls should smoke just to spite those around, though I would love it if they did do something like that, but c'mon guys, GROW UP!

The sexist views of the society on this and other topics apart, there are plenty of reasons why girls, and guys, shouldn't smoke. We'll discuss them later, depending on how long I am able to hold off the dark around me. :)

@ My friends who discussed this with me: These comments are not directed at you, so please don't get mad at me. As I said, I kept thinking about this long after we had stopped discussing it.

@The person who gave the last comment: Thnx buddy. It means a lot. :)

Sorry

Hi B....., I am sorry for not writing for so long. It's not like I had stopped believing, but I think I had given up. I had started thinking that my ripples were not getting passed on. I had forgotten that it is my duty to throw the stones, and not wait for the ripples to form. I am sorry, b.....

Congratulations and Best of Luck for the future!

It's been a long time since I last wrote, and the placement season is well under way. Most of the janta is already placed by now. Congratulations people! As in the last post, let me request you again to remove alcohol from your celebrations. You really don't wanna regret this treat.