A Sincere Request.....

Sometimes I wonder, does my writing make any difference? Does it make anyone think? Does it disturb anyone? I wonder what people think when they read what I write. Do they just take it to be the ravings of a madcap? Read, laugh and move on? Sometimes I feel like I am shouting at walls that won't open up to me. But I can’t give up hope now, can I? I have to keep hoping. I have to keep writing. I have to keep fighting. I have to keep my promise.

Today’s log is about the placement season. College-going junta must have already understood what I am driving at. People get placed; they give treats to their friends and juniors, and almost all these ‘treats’ are ‘daru-treats’. Unlimited alcohol. Booze till you cannot stand on your two feet, and then booze some more. Ask your juniors to drink, saying,” C’mon, I have got a job! Won’t you drink for me?” So many seniors, so many get placed, and so many treats. Your poor juniors don’t have a chance. By the end of their second or third year, many of them wouldn’t be able to say ‘no’ even if they wanted to or needed to. A still smaller fraction would take this addiction with them into their future life. A few of them may fall prey to health problems caused due to their inability to say ‘no’. But this shouldn’t bother you. None of this is happening now, is it?

Please think about it. Please think before you send someone on the road to self-destruction. Do not let this small treat haunt you for the rest of your life.

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Today...

How many people does it take to make a difference? Just one. Just you. You have the power, the potential. But do you have the will? If you do, then start today. Don't wait for tomorrow. It may never come. Something you say, something you do, today, may change someone's life forever. So go ahead, and do it.

How do I know that I am gonna have a tomorrow? How do I know that I am gonna get another chance? I may not be there tomorrow, or, God forbid, someone I care about might not be there tomorrow. So I am asking you today- please don't drink, don't smoke. Think about all the people who love you. You might not even realize how much anxiety you are causing them, but you are. If I get another chance, I'll ask you again. But if I don't, I won't regret it, because I asked you today.

Here, once again, is a link to the Alcoholics Anonymous web page:
http://www.aagsoindia.org/aaforme.htm

and a Nicotine Anonymous page:
https://www.nicotine-anonymous.org/index.php

If you smoke or drink, or have anyone among your family, friends, etc. who does so, please ask them to visit these sites. They will find these helpful.

And, if you can, please give your time to some or all of these sites. It will make you feel good.
www.bhookh.com

UN World Food Program

www.freerice.com

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Thinking of boozing tonight? Think again......please

How much does a bottle of whiskey cost? 400 bucks. Vodka? 400 bucks. Beer? 70 bucks. How much does a kilo of best quality basmati rice cost? 44 bucks. Lesser quality costs even less. So with the money you spend on a bottle of whiskey or vodka you could actually feed a starving family of four for 6-7 days. Considering the poverty and hunger that we see around us every day, is that such a bad option? When two friends get together, there’s really so much more that we can do than just drink alcohol. C’mon, it’s gonna wear off tomorrow and leave you with a terrible headache. Whereas one act of kindness and self-restraint on your part can actually save a child from malnutrition, a family from breaking up, a 12-year old girl from being sold off for prostitution, a mother from having to give up her newborn child for fear of not being able to feed it. Tell me then, is it not worth it?

To read more about hunger, visit here:
www.bhookh.com

UN World Food Program

www.freerice.com

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Brother Bear

I watched this movie recently, Brother Bear, in which the hero, Kinai's, brother dies and becomes a bird, an eagle, and as the eagle-spirit, guides his two younger brothers to realize the meaning of their totems and to become men. I like the philosophy of the Native Americans- the concept of the Great Spirit, of the equality of all living beings, of becoming part of the great spirit after death, of being able to hope for some contact with your loved ones even when they are no longer there. Kinai's brother was always there for him, always around, watching over him, teaching him, guiding him.

I found this great prayer on the net. It is a Native American prayer, simple and free from any pretensions, rituals, or such like.

"Oh, Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the wind,

Whose breath gives life to all the world.

Hear me; I need your strength and wisdom.

Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.

Make my hands respect the things you have made and my ears sharp to hear your voice

Make me wise so that I may understand the things you have taught my people.

Help me to remain calm and strong in the face of all that comes towards me.

Let me learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.

Help me seek pure thoughts and act with the intention of helping others.

Help me find compassion without empathy overwhelming me.

I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy

Myself.

Make me always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes.

So when life fades, as the fading sunset, my spirit may come to you without shame."

Sometimes praying helps. When you have had too much of life, try a prayer, not necessarily this one. I just included it because it kinda lightened me.

I will repeat here what I always say in my logs, because I myself need to hear it today. Life hurts. It gives you so much sorrow that it feels like a real, physical pain. Sometimes it hurts so much that you just want to escape somewhere into oblivion. But that is not the solution. There are better ways to lessen your pain than by escaping. Try a prayer today instead of the bottle. The effect may not be instantaneous but it definitely lasts.

The Forbidden Fruit

God made the biggest mistake of His/Her (Well, what can I do? The gender of God is still a very much debatable issue!) life when He/She forbade Adam and Eve from eating the fruit from a particular tree. She should have known, of all people, that She was only tempting them further. Had She made no mention of the fruit to them, they might not even have discovered it. Or, considering that She was God, She could as simply have made the fruit look unappealing. Her mistake is proof to us that the status of being forbidden adds very much to the appeal of an otherwise ordinary-looking fruit.

Same goes for liquor. At home, our parents forbid us from drinking alcohol, smoking, or taking drugs. In college, the college authorities ban us from consuming alcohol (or as in the case of my college, they ban us from being found in an inebriated state), so that, by our first introduction to the boozing society, the attraction has become huge, and we succumb to the desire very easily. Instead, if alcohol is treated as something of no consequence, something very bitter in taste and with very disgusting after-effects, which in fact it is, its hold on the minds of young people would become extremely weak.

But therein lies the problem- our parents and other people who are supposed to have an influence over us, themselves do not refrain from enjoying a peg or two when they get company, as in with friends or at weddings. Or, on the other extreme, they expressly ban the bottle. Both these circumstances increase the allure of drinking. But then, I suppose that is to be expected. After all, if God could make such a gross mistake, our parents are still mere humans!

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On Life, Love and Liquor

Many people tell themselves,"There's no one who cares about me. No one who's affected if I drink. And that's why I have no reason to quit drinking.". Somewhat like Devdas, isn't it? Now, anyone might guess, I am no fan of the fellow. True, he lost the woman he loved, but he also acted like a loser. He just wasn't ready to accept his losses and move on. He sat right there in the mud and sang out to the whole world how much he loved the girl and how he was willing to destroy his whole life, now that she was no longer there. No one else existed, not even his own mother. He never thought how much pain he was causing her, or for that matter, to Paro. Chandramukhi, of course, was non-existent. He would never fight to live for someone who loved him so much as to worship him. He would only pine for the one who had left him. It is a totally different matter that it was he who drove her away.

So, contrary to the author's portrayal, I am inclined to view the bloke as the villain of the story. And it hurts me to see men and women around me who follow his example. Girlfriend left you, you take to the bottle. Had a fight with your best friend, you go and drink. Or, something much more serious happens, like the death of a loved one (God forbid!), and you find an outlet for your grief in the bottle. Pardon me, but don't you think that's a loser attitude? You are drinking in self pity, and thinking yourself to be the hero of a tragedy! Don't you think your loved one would be extremely pained to see you like this? Even in God's abode? Are you so heartless as to cause him/her such a pain?

Life tests us, causes us much pain, so much that sometimes we want to die- to sleep and never wake up, that sounds like such a relief. But we must move on. Because only when we conquer our grief does life consider us eligible for some happiness. Look around and see. You'll find examples yourselves. It is true what they say- only when you have experienced extreme sorrow, can you appreciate true happiness.

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Excuses Are Good.........Sometimes!!

Who said excuses are for losers? Here are some really cool excuses for those who have the b**ls to stay sober!

· I promised my girlfriend that I won’t drink.

· I promised my mother that I won’t drink one day every week, and today’s the day.

· It is a special prayer day at my home so I can’t drink today.

· I have a bet with someone that I won’t drink for one whole month, and I don’t lose my bets.

· If you have a friend who also wants to stop/avoid drinking, then you can make a bet with each other about who breaks down and drinks first.

· I only drink on alternate days, and today’s my day off.

· It’s my turn at the wheel today

· I don’t drink when I am happy; I dance(and then hit the dance floor!).

· My girl doesn’t like liquor-breath when I kiss her ;)

· I don’t drink around ladies (if there are any present) / elders (this will definitely work in India!). Many a pretty lady will swoon at such a gentleman :)

· My religion forbids me to drink.

· No, thank you, I am already having too much fun. I don’t need the liquor.

· I like to have a clear head while discussing business.

It’s really not that difficult to say ‘No’, and after a while people accept you as you are and even respect you for being different. You can have much more fun at your parties if you are sober enough to enjoy the moment. And yeah, girls really don’t like liquor-breath and smoke-breath :)

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The Ripple Effect

When a stone falls in water, it creates ripples. These ripples are observed in a wide area around the point where the stone fell. But I bet everyone knows that. How does the simple act of throwing a stone in water create such a wide effect? I bet everyone knows that too. The stone sets the particles around it in vibration. These oscillating particles vibrate their adjacent particles, and the ripple is created and passes on from particle to particle.

So how about it? How about creating a ripple? You just need to throw a stone. A simple smile, a simple act of kindness, simply standing up for what is right, telling people you love that you love them; it’s just a simple act but the ripples will carry far and wide.

We, the people, don’t need an external entity to make the change. We are the change. We are the ones who throw the stone, we are the stone, we are the particles and we are the ripples. We are the ones who create changes and we are the ones who pass them on. It is our duty and our destiny.

We have been led to believe that our leaders are supposed to change our lot, to make our lives better, to turn our country into a developed country. But it’s wrong. We see no progress and we decide that we just chose the wrong leaders. But it’s not up to the leaders. It’s up to us.

Imagine if the billion plus people of India just decided to make small, positive changes to themselves and to their surroundings, we might not become a superpower overnight, but we will make our country a better place to live in. We threw out the British that way, remember?

My stone is to urge as many people as I can to stop drinking, because I believe we’re just filling the coffers of the big liquor companies and their home governments when we drink, and destroying our lives in the process. Instead, when friends get together, they could do something much more constructive that would bring more beauty and happiness into this world.

So how about throwing a stone? There are probably many lying around you. Search, and you’ll find one that fits your hand.

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It's not easy.......

Hi everyone,

Some of you have been reading this weblog since the last few days. But I guess you guys thought those were mere words. Now here I am with some harsh words for you people, specially the so called STUDS of IIT….

Well you guys consider yourselves to be great studs, ‘coz you can gulp down 7 pegs of whiskey and 3 bottles of beer. And what else? What else do you do? You didn’t drink when you came to this place, because of your family values, because of the way you have been brought up. Then all of a sudden there’s this great transition. You wanna become someone else …someone, so why not a stud? So you go to B......., and grab a sutta. It all starts there. Someone teaches you to smoke. You start with one brand and then you switch brands, and increase the number. Then you find a companion to your sutta. The so called IIT campus has a lot of sutta and booze outlets and you can easily go and get some, even if you are not of the legal age.

Then you go to 2nd year. You are ragged, and your seniors treat you, treat you at P., at T., and pass on a culture, a culture which says, “Drink, drink and drink”. You get high and enjoy, and then you go to another treat and again drink there. But what after some days? You don’t have anymore treats. So you go out and spend the hard earned money of your parents and get some booze for yourself again. Once, twice, thrice- sometimes even the count does not exist.

Then you become a senior and now you are the one to pass on the culture. You do it and then in your final year, you again drink, drink and drink; not knowing that someone, somewhere would be getting hurt, directly and indirectly….

Now you join a job and your 2k pocket money changes to 30k in hand. So what do you do? Drink, drink and drink. You increase your drinks. You go to pubs, late night parties and drink, drink and drink, not knowing what can happen. You drink, and you drive, and you are hit. May be you are saved one time. But my dear friends, luck is not always on your side. And you are hit badly one day …and you die …you leave this world …but you leave a hell lot of memories …helpless parents, who do not even know what happened ....and how …crying friends. You won’t be there, but the people around you will be. It’s not easy for them to hear their friend being referred to as a dead body. It’s not easy for them to not talk to a friend, their best friend lying in front of them…but not talking. It’s not easy for a father to light his own son’s funeral pyre......it’s not easy for a mother to forget her beloved son....it’s not easy for a brother to loose all the support he had from a friend-cum-brother.....it’s not easy …..it’s not easy to forget someone ….Just put yourself in that place and imagine. This can happen to anyone. So why let it come? It’s all in our hands, right? We want our families to be happy, right? So the choice is in your hands…. Do what you want to do. But then just remember what I said …It’s not easy…

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Goodbye

Well I just wanted to say that,well, I'm not going to write again. I had been writing in the hope that it would help someone, but now I don't think it will. People need a stronger reason to give up alcohol than the misfortunes of some unknown person in some remote corner of the planet. So I am going to make this my last blog.

Before I go, I would like to share one more story with you-it's about two kids I know. Their parents were friends of my parents, and the father was in the same college as my father. We lived in the same town, so we had practically grown up together-the two kids and me and my sister. Well, their father was an alcoholic. The reason he started on alcohol, from what I heard, was that his career was not doing well. So he started drinking and his career slipped further, and then he drank even more.

I remember, once when we were visiting them, the parents went to one room and sent all us kids out to play in the courtyard. Then the younger one told us,"Papa daaru pi rahe hain(father is drinking)". Imagine hearing that from a kid. He must have been, what, six years at most?

Well, the father gave up drinking after some time, due to the continued efforts of his family and friends, but he had a relapse some years later, and he shot himself. I met this same kid again some time ago(I don't live in town anymore). Guys I can't describe the expression on his face to you-there was pain, sorrow, suffering written all over it. Suffering, that could have been avoided. I wish I could've said something to help him, anything at all, but I didn't have anything to say. He was eighteen years old then, four years younger than me, and he had already seen more of life and known more sorrow than any of us.

This blog is dedicated to him and kids like him all over the world, but specially to him. I hope he finds peace in life.

This one's a riches-to-rags story!

Guys, someone sent us this link some time ago. We think that you might want to check it out too.

http://in.movies.yahoo.com/070903/211/6k9lz.html

We thank whoever sent it to us. It gives us all the more impetus to keep writing against alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and other addiction-causing substances.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness

If you have a drinking, smoking or drugs problem, please ask for help- from your family, friends, teachers, anyone. It is not a sign of weakness, asking for help. Instead, it shows how strong you really are from inside. It takes a brave man(or woman) to seek support.

You can find the locations for AA meetings here:

http://www.aagsoindia.org/location.htm

Alternatively, you can call one of these helplines:

• National Addiction Research Centre (NARC), Mumbai
  (022) 65834605
  
  
• T.T. Ranganathan Clinical Research Foundation (TTK Hospital), Chennai
  (044) 24918461 / 2948
  
  
• NIMHANS De-Addiction Centre, Bangalore
  (080) 26995360
  
  
• Hope Trust, Hyderabad
  (040) 23396339 / 23327973
  
  
• National Institute of Behavioural Sciences (NIBS), Kolkata
  (033) 22469662 / 22865203
  
  
• AIIMS De-Addiction Centre, Gurgaon
  (0124) 2788974 / 8

Or, check out these sites. These also have a lot of information:

• http://www.muktangan.org/links.html
  
  
• http://www.gatewayforindia.com/medical/health/drug-rehabilitation.htm
  
  

You know, when I found this information, I thought about how different our lives would have been if I had found it sooner. Then I thought- would I have had the guts to tell him that he needed expert help? You see, I was a bit scared of him. He was much older than me, he was my senior, like an older brother and his friends told me he could have one hell of a temper. He never got angry with me, but still I was damn scared of annoying him. Moreover, if I ever dared bring up the topic of smoking or drinking in his presence, he would give us a look that said that I had crossed some unknown boundary, and I would shut up immediately. He wanted to give it up himself, but he didn't like to talk about it.

It is only now that I realize that I shouldn't have shut up, that I should've risked his anger. All of us should have.

Guys, don't make the mistake we made.Trust me, you don't wanna go about feeling somehow responsible for your best mate's death, or ruin.

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please help......

How many friends have to die before you do something to stop the monster? Everyday so many new kids get introduced to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes; how many of them have to die before you would open your eyes? Would it have to become an epidemic before you do something about it?

We never think we’re susceptible, do we? It’s others who fall victim to such things; but we and our loved ones and our friends are within this impregnable fortress that death can’t penetrate. And anyways, the harmful effects of alcohol, drugs ‘n all are all long term, right? They can’t hurt you immediately, can they? Reality check dude- even right now someone you love, maybe your own kid brother or sister, may be contemplating his or her first glass of liquor. And no, the effects are not necessarily long term. An overdose of heroine, a drunken-driving accident, lung cancer, they cause death pretty fast.

Please, and this is a really very sincere request, speak out against alcoholism. Tell your parents, your kids, your siblings, your friends. Tell them to just say ‘No thanks’. Tell them it’s not cool to drink. Tell them it makes you worry when they drink. Tell them you love them. Tell them you don’t, ever, wanna have to miss them.

If they are willing, tell them to go to an AA meeting (that’s Alcoholics Anonymous). The AA hold their meetings in almost every part of the country, in every country. Here’s a link to their page:

http://www.aagsoindia.org/messages.htm

The message is important.......

Guys, everyone who reads this, we need to spread this message. So please pass this on, and if you have any stories of your own to share, please do share and comment.

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For you, and you, and you too

If you ask anyone in my campus whether they consider themselves alcohol addicts, they would simply answer ‘No’. They just drink now and then, when some friend is giving a treat, or if there is some such occasion, like a job offer, or if they are just angry and frustrated. And of course, they don’t get drunk. Others around them do. They are perfectly capable of holding their drink, even up to the tenth peg!

People here are so proud of being able to hold their drink that they don’t realize that that is how addiction starts. The same high that you used to get after two pegs, now requires five. After some time it will require ten. And finally, you will end up drinking from morning till night in search of that elusive high. It will affect your studies( many people in my campus will testify to that), and wreak havoc on your family and social life, and you will probably lose at least one job after passing out.

I have heard of people in my own campus, people I know, getting into serious trouble because of their drinking. Getting caught is the least that can happen. But there have also been some pretty bad accidents. But does somebody care? Have you ever bothered telling your friends not to drink? They would probably not listen to you anyways. But have you even tried?

If you are someone who likes drinking now and then, even though you are not an alcoholic (not yet at least), you will ask me what business it is of mine to ask you not to drink. Probably none. I might not even know you. But I might know someone who does know you, someone who might even love you, care for you. Believe me, it is not so much for your sake that I’m asking you to stop. It’s for her sake. Or his. Or theirs. In a way it is for my own sake, but you probably won’t understand that.

I am putting one more link to AA here. Anyone who does not want to believe me, may visit here. It is true that people do a better job of convincing themselves, than others.

http://www.aagsoindia.org/messages.htm

We love you...

I was in class today and I was, obviously, not studying. I was actually thinking of the upcoming Raksha-Bandhan(for those who don’t know, it is an Indian festival, which revolves around the relationship between a brother and a sister). I don’t have any brother of my own, but I do have lots of cousins, and some friends who are as close as brothers to me. I was thinking in particular about one of these friends. This friend, let’s call him S......, was one of the most talented people that God sent to earth. He was an excellent sportsperson, playing volleyball, cricket, badminton, football, table-tennis, you name it. He was a brilliant student, studying in the Indian Institute of Technology. He was one of the most popular figures in campus, both for his caliber and for his friendly nature. He was one of those seniors whom juniors looked up to. He was a loyal friend, a loving and caring brother, and an awesome boyfriend. And he was dead by the age of twenty-three.

He left everyone behind, even the girl whom he loved above all others. He did not mean to, though. This was no case of brilliance overshadowed by depression, leading to suicide. My brother very much wanted to live, to enjoy the fruits of life with those he loved. This was a case of poisoning, slow poisoning by what is so innocently named as alcohol, so freely available anywhere. Beer, whiskey, vodka, I don’t know what else, my campus was, and still is, flooded with them. He must’ve gotten into the habit through someone he knew, maybe as a dare, maybe out of the natural attraction everyone has towards what is forbidden.

Have I mentioned that alcohol is forbidden in my campus? No, let me make a correction. Being found in an inebriated state is what is forbidden in my campus. That is, drink as much as you like, just don’t let us find you in a drunken state. If we find you, you will be punished. But of course, we won’t stop you from buying illicit liquor from the pan shop just outside the gate and taking it to your rooms, or from going into a restaurant to drink, or even from smoking grass, purchased from the same pan shop. And yes, we are always here to hush up the news if you get into any drunken trouble. And no, if you do get addicted, we won’t provide you de-addiction support, medical help, nothing. This is your life; you will have to cope on your own.

Nobody talks of banning alcohol. After all, that’s what life in college is all about, isn’t it? It helps you to grow up, mature, doesn’t it? It turns you into big, strong men, doesn’t it? It helps you to learn how to face similar situations after college. Right?That’s the logic everyone in my campus gives to justify their drinking. But they are all wrong. My brother would have been the same, but a happier, man even without the alcohol. He was a stud even without the booze. He was a great brother and friend even without the liquor. He would have been the same brave and strong brother to me, giving me hope through some pretty difficult times, with or without alcohol. And yes, without alcohol, he would have been here with me today, alive.

Sometimes, I wonder what we would have done if we could have foreseen all that has happened. Maybe we would have pressed him more fervently to stop drinking. He already wanted to quit, but couldn’t. Maybe we would have gone for some sort of medical de-addiction support. Maybe we would have begged him to join the AA. I don’t know. Anyways, it’s too late for us, his friends, now.

Here is a link to an AA page:http://www.aagsoindia.org/aaforme.htm

If you have anyone in your family, among your friends, your roommates, wing-mates, classmates, hostel-mates, anyone you feel has a drinking problem and should seek help, please refer them to this page. It might feel like an un-cool thing to do, the person might get angry with you for doing this, or your other friends might tease you of being ‘mommy-ish’, but believe me, if you don’t do it today, you might end up wondering, like me, “what if.........?”. This is sincere request from someone who has learnt the hard way, the importance of time.